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Gabbies: A Preventative Expose By Dustin Jermalowicz
Today, with the surging popularity of gazebo enthusiasm, hardcore gazebo fanatics like me are coming upon a disturbing class of human beings. These humans, which we will now refer to as “Gabbies” have been posing as gazebo enthusiasts and degrading everything that we hold dear to us. In this article I will share with you ways to distinguish “Gabbies” from gazebo enthusiasts and what you can do about them.
A bunch of "Gabbies" congregateing at a gazebo.
It has been said that the root of the boom in
gazebo popularity can be attributed to acceptance by the mainstream
public. While acceptance is good for gazebo enthusiasts, acceptance
has spawned the “Gabbie” situation. When “Gabbies”
pose as enthusiasts, they will mislead the public creating a new wave
of “Gabbies”. These casual-ites often flock to gazebos for
the social experience, not the gazebo experience. A “Gabbie”
can be distinguished from an enthusiast in many ways but the main test
used are the essential parts of a gazebo. A true enthusiast should be
able to name:
Goddammit Figi sucks...Just like a "Gabbie".
Even if you come across a “Gabbie”, you shouldn’t shun them. In the thrilling conclusion to my article, I’ll show you how to turn a ”Gabbie” into a gazebo enthusiast. As I implied before, a “Gabbie” is not a complete waste of the human gene pool. When you come across a “Gabbie” you should say, “I know that you are a bandwagon gazebo fan, but its ok, I am here to help you not suck ass.” First you should refer them to an educational source for gazebo information like the site you are reading now…Gazebo Enthusiast! Secondly, you should teach the simpletons gazebo terminology. As you are already a gazebo enthusiast, I shouldn’t have to explain these terms to you. If you do need explanation on gazebo terminology, you are a “Gabbie” and should go to hell because you have no business reading this article. In conclusion gazebos rock and so can “Gabbies”
if you break them down and reprogram them into gazebo enthusiasts.
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